


Don't Wanna Wait Till The Sunshine Fades

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Firefighter Derek Hale, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Massage, Mutual Pining, Paramedic Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Derek's dream ever since he was little was to grow up and be a firefighter just like his father. His father always told him to wait. To have a back up plan. Derek had listened, but still couldn't fight his true calling. His only regret is his father wasn't there to see everything he'd accomplished. Even though he's living his dream, it still doesn't seem to be enough. He feels like he should be doing more to help people. So he does. He starts pushing himself too hard, and eventually his best friend and coworker Stiles starts noticing. The only problem is, Derek isn't sure how to explain himself without giving away his secrets. Especially the big one about his feelings for Stiles. As it turns out, Derek isn't the only one who has been keeping secrets.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 18
Kudos: 416





	Don't Wanna Wait Till The Sunshine Fades

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 1 of Fandom AU Fest: Action/Adventure 
> 
> Title comes from the song [Glitter and Crimson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBhgqoBnmZo) by All Time Low

Derek's whole body aches. He's heard that's part of the job, especially after a hard shift. It's what his dad always used to tell him. He'd come home smelling of soot and smoke and sometimes blood, even though he always showered at work before coming home. The scents still lingered. It's just something Derek came to relate to his dad. 

Even after a hard shift though he always said it was worth it. As long as he was saving lives he’d take everything else.

As a kid, Derek wanted nothing more than to follow in his father's footsteps. His dad would tell him he needed an education too. Something to fall back on. So he'd gone to college and got his master’s degree in education with a minor in history. He loved it. He did. In another life maybe that would have been enough for him. But he ached for more.

So finally, at the age of twenty-four, he signed up for the academy. He was going to be a firefighter just like his dad. 

He always imagined how proud his dad would be when he finally made it. That same joyful look in his eye he had when Derek walked across the stage after college. He’d clap him on his back and tell him how proud he was of him. The universe had other plans though, and his dad never made it that far. 

If anything, losing his dad just pushed him harder. He couldn't save him, but he could save other people. He wasn't going to let anyone else lose a parent or someone they loved. Not when he could stop it. 

So he might take it to the extreme a bit. That's what Laura tells him. 

_"You're doing too much, Der. Dad would just want you to do your job."_

What she doesn't realize is that to Derek saving people is his job. Whether it's as a firefighter, or on his nights off, walking the streets and taking down anyone that threatens them. 

What's the point in being a werewolf if he can't use it for good?

He can almost see Laura rolling her eyes at that before she tells him that simply being a firefighter with the added abilities that come with being a werewolf is enough.

Derek doesn't think so though. He'd never be able to live with himself if someone was mugged or murdered just because he decided to take a night off. 

His body doesn't seem to agree. Even though it can heal quicker than most it still needs time and rest, and Derek hasn't been giving it much of that. 

"You know, most people leave here sore, but you're one of the few people who come onto shift already looking like they've been put through the ringer."

Derek's lips lift at the sound of Stiles' voice, low and familiar. He turns his head, unsurprised to see him leaning against the side of the ambulance. 

“Good morning to you too, Stiles,” Derek says.

“How can I possibly wish you good morning when you look so damn miserable?”

“Maybe a friendly greeting is all I need,” Derek says.

Stiles raises an eyebrow, “Really?”

Derek sighs and leans back against the ambo next to him. He runs a hand tiredly down his face. “Maybe not.”

Stiles nudges his arm lightly with his, “Want to talk about what always has you so tired?”

“It’s nothing,” Derek says. “I just haven’t been getting much sleep.”

Stiles purses his lips, and Derek can tell he has more questions. He braces himself for them, a number of lies ready on the tip of his tongue, anything to get him to back off. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Stiles. He does. More than probably anyone else outside his family. It’s just not something he can blurt out though. Not with Stiles being oblivious to the fact that Derek is a werewolf.

“Come here,” Stiles says, pushing off the ambulance. 

“What?”

“I can’t have you walking around all day looking so tense and miserable,” Stiles tells him. He grabs his hand and tugs, and Derek, surprised as he is, goes easily as he leads him back towards the lieutenant’s quarters. Derek’s confusion grows when he shuts the door and lowers the blinds. 

“What…?”

“Take off your shirt and lay down on your stomach,” Stiles says, gesturing towards the bunk against the wall.

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.”

“I did,” Derek says, slowly. “But I don’t understand why you’re wanting me to get undressed.”

Stiles rolls his eyes, “Just your shirt dude.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Stiles.”

“Because you’re tense, and look like you’re in pain, and I want to help.”

Derek is still confused, but his hands lower to the hem of his shirt anyway. He lifts it over his head, slowly because his muscles are still sore, and they protest the movement. He drops it on the back of the chair and then, when Stiles nods his head towards the cot again, he lays down.

His whole body feels coiled with tension as he waits, curious about what exactly Stiles has planned. The bed dips next to him, and Derek can feel Stiles’ warmth pressed against his hip, even through his pants. He lays completely still, waiting, holding his breath as anticipation runs through his veins.

“You really need to relax,” Stiles says, his voice low and close to his ear. Derek tries to suppress a shiver at the sound and feeling of his warm breath puffing against his skin.

He jumps at the sudden feeling of cold hands on his back, and Stiles chuckles. “That’s not relaxed, Derek.”

“Your hands are cold,” Derek mutters, as if that’s the only reason for his behavior.

“Sorry,” Stiles says. 

“What exactly are you doing?” Derek asks him, trying to distract himself from the feeling for Stiles fingers pressing against his skin.

“We’re going to work out these kinks,” Stiles tells him. He presses down harder, working his fingers into Derek’s muscles and Derek can’t help the groan that escapes him. Stiles chuckles and does it again, digging in deeper this time. “When was the last time you got a massage, big guy?”

“Never,” Derek mumbles into the pillow beneath his head. “Having a lot of regrets about that right now.”

“Hmm well lucky for you I’m here to work my magic on you,” Stiles says.

And he certainly is. So much so that if Derek didn’t know any better he’d swear he actually was using magic on him. There’s no way someone's hands should feel this good. But Stiles is human. Nothing magical about him. Derek would have picked up on that by now. He’s just extraordinary in his own way. 

“Where did you learn to do this?”

“I went to school for massage therapy,” Stiles says. 

“Seriously?”

“Yep.”

“Then how the hell did you end up here?” Derek asks, turning his head slightly to look at him.

Stiles tuts his disapproval and directs his head back down, before moving his hands back to his shoulders. “I don’t know. I didn’t hate it. It’s certainly a useful skill to have.” He laughs when Derek mumbles his agreement. “But it didn’t feel like enough, I guess? I wanted more. To actually be helping people.”

“You’re helping me now,” Derek tells him.

“Only because you’re a stubborn idiot who works himself too hard and needs to learn how to take better care of himself,” Stiles mutters.

And yeah, that’s fair. He knows he doesn’t always take the best care of himself. At least not when it comes to putting himself into dangerous situations. Still…

“I take plenty care of myself,” Derek says. “I eat healthy and exercise and...”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” Stiles sighs.

He presses down onto a tender spot at the back of Derek’s neck and Derek groans, his head swimming and vision blurring. It feels like he’s floating on air, and nothing else exists but him and those glorious fingers working their way along his body.

“Shit,” he mumbles into the pillow.

“Lost you there for a moment,” Stiles says, running a soothing hand down his back.

Derek clears his throat, “Yeah. Sorry. You’re just really good at this.”

“You almost make me think I missed my calling,” Stiles says thoughtfully.

Derek turns his head to grin at him, “Nah. You’re the best paramedic we have. But you’re definitely skilled with your hands.”

“You have no idea.” Stiles winks and gets to his feet. 

“Where are you going?”

“I need to make sure the ambo is stocked,” Stiles says. “Raeken never remembers to do it before he leaves for the morning. Though I’m pretty sure he does it on purpose to mess with me.”

“Probably,” Derek says. “He does like to try and get under your skin.”

“Asshole,” Stiles mutters. “Always leaving more work for me.”

“He’s a good paramedic though,” Derek reminds him.

“He’s still an asshole,” Stiles shrugs. When Derek yawns, Stiles smiles. “Dude, just take a nap. I’ll wake you up if the bells don’t if we get a call.”

“You always do,” Derek says, smiling over at him. He still hasn’t moved an inch since Stiles got up, except to turn his head towards the door.

Stiles shrugs, “You know I always have your back, big guy.”

“And I have yours.”

Stiles’ smile shifts into something softer for a moment, before the wide, easy grin is back on his face. “Get some sleep. You look like you need it.”

Derek makes a noise of agreement, his eyes already slipping closed. He can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. He’s definitely going to have to thank Stiles properly later, maybe with his favorite coffee. 

* * *

The shift is long, but not as grueling as it could be. He knows that’s mostly thanks to Stiles. He really worked a miracle on his sore muscles, making it easier to maneuver in his heavy turnout gear. Sure, he’d normally power through and grin and bear it. That’s what he always does. He’s used to it. But he’s grateful he doesn’t have to do that. At least not today. 

Tomorrow is another story.

It’s not as if he can go to Stiles every time he’s sore and bone weary. That wouldn’t be appropriate. And he’s not about to take advantage of his friend just because he’s shit at taking care of himself. He’ll just have to be more careful tonight. 

“So,” Stiles says, sliding up next to him. “Dinner?”

“What?” Derek asks, brow furrowing in confusion.

“You eat, right?” Stiles asks. “Actually you probably eat really healthy, gross food.”

“I eat like anyone else does Stiles,” Derek says.

Stiles eyes him, “Are you forgetting I had my hands all over you earlier?” Nearby, Theo coughs. Stiles’ face heats up, turning an adorable shade of pink. “For the massage!”

“If that’s that you want to call it,” Theo says, smirking. “Enjoy your _dinner_.”

Stiles shakes his head, “What I was trying to ask is, if you wanted to get something to eat. With me.”

“Sure,” Derek says. “I could eat. And I do owe you for that massage. You really worked a miracle.”

Stiles waves him off, “You don’t owe me anything. I was just helping a friend. But if you want to buy me dinner, I wouldn’t object.”

Derek chuckles and shoulders his bag, “That’s fine, Stiles. Just name the place.”

“How about that diner over on the corner of Fifth and Main? They have excellent burgers, or you know, a salad I’m sure.”

“I eat burgers,” Derek says. “And that sounds good.”

“Again, doubtful about the burgers with that body but if that’s what you want to go with…”

“Stiles, we’re about to eat together,” Derek says. “In fact, we eat together all the time. You know I eat more than salads.”

“I know you pick at your food before running off on a call, and then forget to eat when you get back,” Stiles says. “So this dinner is for your benefit, big guy.”

“Are you telling me I can’t take care of myself?”

“No, I’m just saying it doesn’t hurt to have someone else making sure you are,” Stiles says. “Not that you need _me_ to do that. I’m sure you have other people. I just…”

Derek puts his hand on Stiles’ shoulder, “Stiles. I’m glad to know you have my back.”

“Always.”

And Derek knows that’s true. There’s no one more loyal than Stiles. That’s one of the things Derek admires most about him. He’s brave, and always there for the people that need him. Even when they don’t ask. He’s one the best guys Derek knows, even if he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes. That’s just another part of his charm.”

“I’ll meet you over there, alright?” Derek says. 

Stiles nods and tosses his keys between his hands, “Sounds good. And if you even think about bailing…”

“What? You’ll come find me?” Derek teases.

“I wouldn’t have to look far,” Stiles says. “I know where you live, remember?”

“Of course.”

“But no, I would just be extremely disappointed,” Stiles says.

“Well we can’t have that,” Derek says. “Don’t worry. I’ll be there. I promise.”

“You better.”

He walks off, and Derek watches him for a moment. Before he turns and heads towards where his SUV is parked. Theo’s there, leaning against it. “Can I help you with something?”

“Not me,” Theo says. “I just… be careful with Stiles, okay? He’s a good guy and I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“You think I’ll hurt him?” Derek questions. 

“Not intentionally,” Theo says. “But we both know that sometimes things are out of our control. Especially when you’re like us.”

Derek sighs. He knows what Theo is implying. “He’s not going to get dragged into it.”

“Maybe not on purpose, but Der, you’re out there all the time risking your life,” Theo says. “And I’m not talking about just on calls. But at night....”

Derek tries not to visibly wince. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit,” Theo says. “The man in the black hoodie, who lurks at the tops of buildings apprehending criminals. Sound familiar?”

“I think I’ve heard about him on the news,” Derek shrugs.

Theo steps closer, “Are you forgetting that I can hear when you lie?”

“Theo…”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with him, okay?” Theo says. “I’m just asking you to be careful. It’s not just yourself you’re putting at risk.”

Derek nods, “I’d never do anything to put him in danger.”

“I know.” He squeezes Derek’s shoulder. “Enjoy your dinner.”

Derek rolls his eyes at the wink he throws in at the end. “Weren’t you just warning me off him?”

“No, I was saying not to do anything stupid,” Theo says. “That doesn’t mean you can’t spend time with him.”

“I should go,” Derek says. “Before he thinks I’m bailing on him.”

Theo chuckles, “We can’t have that.”

Theo waves as he walks off and Derek hops into his SUV. He thinks of his conversation with Theo the whole drive over. He knows what he does at night is a risk. He just hadn’t thought of it being a risk to anyone else. Especially someone like Stiles. Human Stiles. Derek doesn’t want to think of him as fragile. He’s seen how strong Stiles is. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t still breakable. That he’s not more at risk at being seriously injured than Derek is just because he’s human. Derek can heal, but Stiles…

He shakes his head and tries to push the thoughts away as he parks his car. Stiles’ jeep is already outside the diner, and he can see him waiting inside at a booth. Nothing is going to happen to Stiles. Least of all just because they’re having dinner. They have dinner together all the time. It’s fine. 

Derek exits the car and shoves his hands in his pockets and heads inside. Stiles spots him almost instantly and raises his hand with a grin. Derek nods in return as he walks towards him and slides into the booth.

“You’re late,” Stiles chides. 

“Sorry,” Derek says. “Was talking to Theo.”

“I see,” Stiles says. “Anything important.”

Derek shrugs, “Not really. Just Theo being Theo.”

Stiles snorts, “Oh I know how that is. Man can talk about anything.”

“Have you ordered?” Derek asks him.

Stiles shakes his head, “Nah. I was waiting on you and your big surprise dinner.”

“It’s not a surprise,” Derek chuckles. “It’s just food.”

“Uh huh. Just know whatever you eat here tonight is going to go down in history,” Stiles tells him.

“Well then,” Derek says, examining the menu. He looks over it with a grin. “I’m not throwing away my shot.”

Stiles gapes, “Did you… Oh my god. Did you just make a Hamilton reference?”

“Maybe,” Derek says, grinning sheepishly.

“I love you,” Stiles blurts out. “I mean, I love that you love musicals. That’s awesome.”

“Yeah Laura is a fan and got me into them,” Derek says.

“Well remind me to thank her next time I see her,” Stiles says. “Because that is officially awesome. We’ll have to go check it out sometime.”

“I’d like that,” Derek says. “I can’t remember the last time I went to one.”

“Well we’re definitely changing that, big guy,” Stiles says. “Because you now have a new musical buddy, and I’m going to make sure you get your fill.”

“Looking forward to it,” Derek says. “Nice to know someone else in the station is cultured.”

Stiles snorts, “Right? Like can you imagine someone like Theo liking musicals?”

“God no,” Derek says, wrinkling his nose. “Definitely not.”

“I think Greenberg does though,” Stiles says. “But that’s Greenberg. And no one wants to hang out with him.”

Derek laughs, “Poor guy. What did he ever do to deserve such distaste?”

“I actually don’t know,” Stiles says. “I think it's from where Finstock was Captain when Greenberg first came in. He didn’t like him for some reason and it just stuck.”

“He’ll never be able to shake it,” Derek sighs. “What Finstock says never leaves.”

“Unfortunately,” Stiles says. “Some people still call me Billinski, and I was only there two months before Finstock retired and Parrish stepped in as Chief.”

“Unfortunate,” Derek says.

“But you never did,” Stiles says.

“Well no,” Derek says. “That’s not your name.”

“Some of the others don’t seem to care about that,” Stiles mutters.

“Yeah well, they’re not me.”

Stiles looks at him, so long Derek starts to squirm under his gaze. “No, no they’re definitely not you.”

“Is that a good thing?” Derek asks.

“Definitely,” Stiles smiles. “You’re a special guy, Derek Hale. I’m glad I know you.”

“I’m glad I know you too, Stiles.”

“Especially since it means I now get free dinner,” Stiles says, his easy grin appearing on his face.

Just like that, the moment shifts back to where it was. Their easy banter once again fills the air. This Derek is used to. This Derek can handle. He doesn’t feel exposed like this. Like all his secrets are written on his face for Stiles to see.

He wishes he could share them. If there’s anyone he knows he can trust, it’s Stiles. But that would mean putting Stiles in danger. And he can’t do that. Stiles is too important. He has a nice, normal life. He doesn’t need things to get complicated by being associated with a werewolf.

Of course, he is whether Derek tells him or not. Derek knows that. But it’s different being friends with Stiles and doing normal, human things. But if Stiles knew what Derek got up to at night? There’s no way he would let that go. He’d try to get involved and be a hero. Not that he isn’t already one. But he’s a different kind. Derek doesn’t need another reason to worry about him. He does that often enough on calls. Wondering if one time their luck will run out and one of them won’t make it out. He doesn’t want to think like that. But sometimes, when he’s alone at night he can’t help but worry. 

He’s lost people before. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else. It’s one of the reasons he’d kept his distance at first when he’d join the firehouse. But then Stiles came along. Stiles with his bright smiles and quick wit and bravery. With a heart so big Derek knows he could get lost there. He’d broken down Derek’s carefully built walls without even trying. And Derek had been helpless against it.

Now Stiles is one of his closest friends. They know each other's families, and spend holidays together. It’s kind of perfect. Derek doesn’t want to screw that up. He doesn’t want to do anything that could risk him losing Stiles. Either by putting him in danger, or by Stiles finding out what he is and not taking it well. 

Not that he thinks Stiles would hate him for it. He’s one of the most open and understanding guys Derek knows. But there’s always a possibility. And it’s that possibility, along with the fear of dragging him into danger, that holds him back.

Laura always tells him he’s an idiot. That Stiles deserves to know. That one day something is going to happen and he’s going to figure it out. “How could he not, Der? He’s friends with all of us. One day someone will let it slip.”

He knows she’s right. But he still can’t bring it. Every time he opens his mouth the words just won’t come. It’s another reason why he’s never even let himself toy with the idea of being with Stiles. No matter what he feels for him. It’s too risky. So he holds back. He tells himself he’s satisfied with what they have, even if deep down he knows that’s a lie. 

* * *

Stiles leaves the diner shortly after they’re done, saying he needs to go home and sleep for at least twelve hours and Derek should do the same. Derek laughs it off, but promises him he’ll try and get some sleep. It’s not a lie. He will try to sleep. But not right away. 

Instead he drives open and parks his car. He runs inside and changes clothes quickly before slipping out his window onto the fire escape. He just sits there for a while, listening and enjoying the nice evening breeze. Nights like these are his favorite. Where he can just relax and be at peace in the city. When the crime is low and he doesn’t have to rush off and fight criminals. He doesn’t have to. He knows that. But the itching beneath his skin makes him feel like he needs to be out there. Afraid that if he’s not something bad can happen. Something he could have prevented. 

“I knew I’d find you up here.” 

Derek’s head turns as Laura slips out the window onto the fire escape next to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see how your date went,” Laura says.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Are you sure about that?” Laura asks, leaning back on her arms and turning her face up towards the moon. It’s full tonight. Which just adds to the itch beneath his skin. He’s sure Laura is feeling the same thing. Those as an alpha her connection to the moon is stronger. She’s always been more in tune with her wolf side as well. More balanced. He hopes to achieve that one day. Maybe then he wouldn’t always feel so restless.

“I’m pretty positive,” Derek says. “It was just dinner between friends.”

“But you wanted it to be more,” Laura says, kicking him gentle in the leg. “Didn’t you?”

“No.”

Laura snorts, “Oh come on, Der. This is me. Your sister. Your best friend since birth. I know you better than anyone else.”

“Well you don’t know this,” Derek mutters.

“Right,” Laura huffs. “Derek, everyone knows how into Stiles you are, save for maybe Stiles. It’s obvious. What I don’t understand is why you’re holding yourself back.”

“Because being with me would put him in danger,” Derek snaps.

Laura sits up a little straighter to look at him. “How exactly? And don’t tell me it’s because you’re a werewolf.”

“That’s exactly it,” Derek says.

“Okay then, that’s bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Our lives are no more dangerous than humans and you know,” Laura says. “We live normal lives. The only thing different is that we have enhanced abilities. That’s it.”

“But the hunters…”

“Have a code,” Laura cuts in. “You know. Especially the ones here. Or are you forgetting that one of our closest family friends is a hunter?”

“Of course not,” Derek sighs. “It’s just… not all of them are like that.”

“I know,” Laura says, gently. “I know you had a bad run in with one. But that shouldn’t stop you from putting yourself out there, Der. Stiles isn’t Kate.”

“I know that,” Derek says. “I just…”

Laura links their arms together and rests her hand on his shoulder, “You deserve to be happy, little brother. And I know Stiles could make you happy. I see how much he does already.”

“I’m not ready,” Derek whispers.

“Okay,” Laura says. “But I hope one day you will be. You both deserve a chance at this.”

Derek knows she’s right. She’s right about a lot of things. Not that he’s going to admit that. It would just go to her head. But despite what she says, Derek can’t let go of that fear. The fear of letting himself be with Stiles, be happy, and something happening to him because of Derek. That would kill him. 

* * *

**2 Months Later**

Derek’s exhausted. So much that it’s hard to focus on the paperwork in front of him. Everything seems to blur. After reading the same line at least ten times, tosses his pen down and runs a hand down his face, giving up.

“Another rough night?” Stiles asks, leaning against the doorframe of Derek’s office.

“Just a bit,” Derek sighs. “I didn't sleep much last night.”

“Oh yeah, I can see that,” Stiles says. “You look like hell.”

“You say that every time you see me lately,” Derek points out. “It’s starting to give me a complex.”

“Well then maybe you should start taking better care of yourself and I wouldn’t have to,” Stiles shrugs.

“I take plenty of care of myself,” Derek says. “Are we really going to have this argument every time I come in here looking tired?”

“Yep. I’m not gonna stop until it gets through that thick head of yours and you actually listen,” Stiles says.

“It doesn’t work when Laura does it. What makes you think you’ll have any better luck?” Derek asks, leaning back in his seat. He winches and rubs his neck. Last night hadn’t been that bad, but he’d still pulled a muscle trying to pull himself up a fire escape without using the ladder. He’d caught the guy by surprise, but it still left him hurting like a bitch. 

“I am different,” Stiles says. He leans against Derek’s neck with a smirk. “I think we both know that, don’t we?”

Derek swallows, his eyes moving across Stiles’ body without his permission. It’s not his fault Stiles decided to wear his tight pants today and short sleeved shirt, leaving his muscles on display. Everyone’s always surprised to find out just how strong Stiles is. But not Derek. He’s seen it in the field plenty of times. And also how gentle those strong hands can be. Especially when they’re on his skin. And god Derek really shouldn’t be thinking about this right now.

He stands abruptly and immediately regrets it when all it does is send another sharp flash of pain through him. He hisses and Stiles tuts. “Alright, lay down.”

“What?”

“You know the drill by now, Der,” Stiles says, shoving him slightly towards the bed. Shirt off and on your stomach.”

Derek does as he’s told, not having it in himself to argue. It’s almost routine by now, and Derek tries not to think about that. The first time was one thing. Derek had been miserable. But every time after that… Well Derek can’t help it, okay? Stiles hands feel like magic, and he might enjoy feeling them on him a little too much. Which always makes him feel guilty. But he hasn’t been able to make himself say no yet.

“You know,” Stiles says, surprising Derek when he throws his long legs on either side of Derek’s and settles himself on his thighs. He leans in close, whispering in Derek’s ear. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you let yourself get hurt on purpose just to get my hands on you.”

“What? No! That’s not! I don’t… Why would you…?”

Stiles chuckles, his warm breath blowing across Derek’s skin and making him shiver, “It’s okay, Der. If I didn’t like doing this, I wouldn’t be here.”

And _that_ is something Derek should not be thinking about with Stiles sitting on him and touching him the way he is. It’s the same as he always does. He starts at Derek’s neck and shoulders and work s his way down. But it feels different with the knowledge that Stiles enjoys it. That he _wants_ to touch Derek.

It shouldn’t be surprising. Derek’s seen the way he looks at him. But he never let himself think about it. It’s a dark and dangerous path. One that could lead to Derek doing something stupid like flipping them over and pinning Stiles to this bed and kissing him senseless and letting him know just how much he likes having his hands on him.

And yeah, there’s no way he can do that. For one thing, they’re at work. For another, he’s not going to risk his friendship with Stiles doing something stupid like that.

“Where are you at today, Der?” Stiles asks, working his hands into the middle of his back.

“What do you mean? I’m right here.”

Stiles huffs out a laugh, “Physically maybe, but your head is elsewhere. So what’s up?”

“It’s nothing,” Derek says.

“Come on,” Stiles says, nudging him lightly. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“Of course,” Derek says. And that’s true. He trusts Stiles completely. And most days he would vent about normal things. But it’s hard when the thing that’s bothering him is right here, literally sitting on top of him.

“Then talk to me,” Stiles says. “What’s on your mind?”

 _You_ , Derek thinks. Out loud, he says. “A lot of things, I guess. My head has just been a mess. But umm...” he sighs, taking a deep breath. “Have you ever loved someone so much that it scares you?”

He’s not sure where _that_ came from. He certainly hadn’t meant to talk to Stiles about this. But the words are out there, and there’s no way to take them back. 

Stiles’ hands still for a moment, before resuming their movements down his back. “I have,” Stiles says softly. “Have you?”

Derek swallows thickly, before nodding. “Yeah. I have. I do, I guess.”

“What scares you about it?” Stiles asks him.

“Losing him,” Derek whispers. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened because of me. And I know that’s ridiculous. Things happen. But I’ve lost someone before, and the thought of that happening again terrifies me. Especially because…”

“What?”

“I’ve never loved someone the way I love yo… him. The way I love him.”

Stiles’ hands aren’t moving anymore. He’s completely still above him. But his heart… his heart is beating rapidly in his chest. His chemosignals are confusing as hell though. Because they’re a mixture of happy and sad. And what the hell is he thinking right now?

“Have you ever thought about telling him?” Stiles asks finally.

“I have,” Derek says. “Laura keeps telling me I should.”

Derek panics for a moment when Stiles slides off of him. At least until he taps Derek’s back. “Roll over.”

“What?” 

“Just do it, Der.”

Derek does as he’s told. He’s barely made it onto his back before Stiles is crawling on top of him again. He leans down, his face barely inches from Derek’s. “I think you should listen to Laura.”

There are some many reasons not to do this. So many excuses Derek could make. But Derek doesn’t want to listen to any of them right now. Not when he has Stiles so close, and looking at him with so much hope that it makes his chest ache.

“I think I don’t want to be thinking about my sister right now,” Derek murmurs.

Stiles laughs quietly and leans closer, “What do you want to think about?”

And this time when he thinks the word, he doesn't stop himself from saying it. “You.”

“Oh good,” Stiles says. “I was hoping I hadn’t read this completely wrong.”

“You haven’t.”

“For the record,” Stiles says. “I love you so much it scares me sometimes too. Especially when you show up here looking like you’ve been put through the wringer and I don’t know why. I feel like you’re doing something dangerous. So yeah, it scares me.”

“There’s a lot I want to tell you,” Derek admits. “So much. But I…”

“What?”

“I don’t know how you’ll take it,” Derek says.

“Then you’re just going to have to trust me,” Stiles tells him.

“I do,” Derek says. “More than anything.”

Stiles smiles, soft and happy and Derek is hit with the urge to kiss him. This time he doesn’t hold back. He takes Stiles’ face in his hands and pulls him down and finally _finally_ kisses those lips he’s been dreaming about for so long. 

And then the bell rings announcing a call.

“That is the worst fucking timing,” Stiles mutters.

“You’re telling me,” Derek laughs and takes his shirt from Stiles when he hands it over. 

Stiles grins and steps into his space after he has it on. He leans in and kisses him softly. “To be continued.”

“Looking forward to it,” Derek says. He takes another quick kiss, because he can, and then runs out of the room towards the truck. Stiles waves on the way by towards the ambo.

“What do you look so happy about?” Boyd asks him.

“Nothing,” Derek says, trying to school his features. He can’t though. He just keeps thinking about Stiles’ smiling face looking down at him and can’t keep the smile from his lips.

“Does this nothing have to do with Stilinski?” Erica asks.

“What? No? Why would you think that?”

“Because he was looking pretty pleased himself,” Erica smirks.

Derek shrugs, though he’s secretly happy with the thought of Stiles looking happy because of him. He ignores the voice in his head telling him this could all go wrong. He’ll face that later, he’s sure. Those thoughts always find a way of catching up to him. But Laura’s right, he deserves to be happy. And Stiles makes him happy.

“Oof,” Erica says, looking out at the scene as they pull up. “This one’s a bad one.”

She’s right. The top of the building is almost completely engulfed in flames. Not only that, but it’s one of the old industrial ones. The structure hadn’t been sturdy to begin with.

“Hopefully no one is left inside that,” Boyd mutters.

Derek nods. “Alright,” Parrish calls back to him. “This building looks like it could go at any moment. So no one goes in without my orders. Got it?”

“Yes Chief!”

“Derek,” Parrish says, stepping up to him. “They say there’s a woman still inside. Take Boyd and go do a sweep. But when I say out, you get the hell out. Understood? No reckless behavior.”

Derek nods, and so does Boyd. “Understood.”

“Good, then get in there.”

Derek grabs his helmet and mask and walks with Boyd towards the door. “Der!” Stiles calls after him. Derek stops and turns towards him. “Be careful, okay.”

Derek grins, “Always.”

He puts his gear on and turns to Boyd, “Ready.”

Boyd nods, and together they move inside. They walk the room carefully, eyes scanning every inch as they call out for anyone that might still be inside. “Fire department, call out!” 

No response comes, but they keep going and keep trying. “What’s the status?” Parrish asks them.

“No sign of the woman yet,” Derek responds. “Or anyone else.”

“Five more minutes,” Parrish says. “At most. It’s not looking good, and I want you both out.”

“Sure thing, Chief,” Boyd says.

They make it to the other side of the room and there’s still no sign of anyone. “Are you sure there’s someone in here?” Derek asks, looking at Boyd.

“A man said his wife came back in for something,” Boyd says. “But maybe she got out a different way.”

Derek’s inclined to agree. Or at least hope. They sweep the other side of the room on the way back, looking for any sign that the woman is still here.

“I see someone!” Boyd calls over to him. He puts towards the corner of the room, and then Derek sees her. They move towards her, and Derek listens closely. “I got a heartbeat,” Derek tells him. “Let’s get her up.”

Boyd nods, and grabs the woman, carefully putting her over his shoulder. “Let’s go!” 

They start making their way towards the door when a loud crack sounds overhead. “Building’s going!” Parrish calls into the radio. “Get out of there!”

“We’re heading out,” Derek tells him. “We got the woman.”

He urges Boyd along in front of him, both of them keeping a fast pace as they run towards the door. Boyd’s almost made it when the roof gives another loud crack and the walls start to shake. Derek shoves Boyd out the door and starts to dive out after him. He yells out in pain when something hits him in the back.

“Derek!” Stiles calls. His voice sounds far away. All Derek can hear clearly is the rush of blood pumping in his ears. Arms settle on either side of him and he’s yanked to his feet. “Let’s get him over here.”

Derek walks as best as he can towards the ambulance vaguely aware of Boyd and Stiles on either side of him. “Sit him down,” Stiles says. “And Theo get me some…”

The world blurs again, a swirl of noises and colors. What had even happened?”

“You got hit with a piece of wood,” Stiles says. “You’re lucky it didn’t break your back.”

Derek’s focus moves to Stiles’ hands as they pour saline over a piece of gauze and bring it to his face. “What happened to your hands?” Derek asks him. 

“Nothing,” Stiles says too quickly. “Don’t worry about me. Worry about yourself.”

Derek rolls his eyes, and grabs Stiles’ wrists, gently lowering his hands to where he can see them better. “They’re burned.”

“Yeah well, the wood was on fire when it hit you,” Stiles says.

Derek looks up at him, startled. “You tried to get a piece of burning wood off of me?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” Stiles argues. “Let it try and burn through your coat?”

“You…”

“I’m not arguing about this,” Stiles says. “My hands will be fine, okay? I will be. And you will be too. I’m gonna make sure of that.”

“Does it hurt?” Derek asks, rubbing his fingers along the skin at his wrists. It’s not burned there, at least. 

Stiles shrugs, “A little. But I’ll take some ibuprofen and wrap them and be…”

“Fine?” Derek guesses.

Stiles smiles wryly, “Exactly.”

“You put yourself in danger because of me,” Derek says. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I already said I’m not arguing about this with you,” Stiles says. “I’ll always do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And I know you’ll do the same for me.”

“Always,” Derek says. 

Stiles risked a lot running towards a burning building that was about to collapse, just to be sure Derek was okay. He’s put himself out there, time and again. The least Derek could do is the same.

So he keeps Stiles' wrists in his hands and focuses on his pain. He watches as black veins run up his arms and disappear beneath his shirt. He chances a glance up at Stiles’ face to see him watching the same thing. 

“So,” Derek says quietly. “I’m a werewolf.”

Stiles’ eyes snap back up to his. There’s shock written across his face, but no sign of disgust or revulsion. Stiles laughs and takes Derek’s face in his hands and kisses him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Derek murmurs. 

“I have something to tell you too,” Stiles says. “You remember how you said my hands were magic?” Derek nods. “Well, you weren’t too far off.”

“What do you mean?”

Derek gasps when suddenly Stiles’ eyes start to glow a beautiful gold and sparks form at the tips of his fingers. “You have magic?”

“Yep, and you’re a werewolf.”

“I am.”

“Why the heck didn’t you just tell me?” Stiles asks. He swats at Derek’s shoulder, then winces. 

Derek sighs, and grabs Stiles’ wrist, quickly taking the pain. “Because I didn’t know how you would take it. Not everyone reacts that nicely to the existence of werewolves.”

“Dude, my best friend is a werewolf,” Stiles tells him. “I’m in the know. And you, the whole magic thing.”

“I didn’t know either of those things,” Derek reminds him. “And I’m not the only one with a secret.”

“Yeah that’s fair,” Stiles says. “I guess I didn’t know how you would take it either.”

“You want to know what I think?” Derek asks. He hooks an arm around his waist and pulls him closer. 

“What?” Stiles arms, wrapping his arms around Derek’s neck with a grin.

“I think it’s pretty cool you have magic?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I think it’s awesome you’re a werewolf,” Stiles tells him. “Especially considering my other theories on what you do at night.”

“What did you think I was doing?”

“Maybe you were in some fight club or something.”

Derek laughs, “A fight club?”

“You were always showing up all sore and looked like you hadn’t slept at night,” Stiles says. “What was I supposed to think?”

“Good point,” Derek says. “But I’m not in a fight club.”

“Then what do you do?”

“I fight crime.”

Stiles narrows his eyes and bites his lips. “You… what?”

“I watch the streets at night and look for anyone doing anything they shouldn’t be and then I take them to the police,” Derek says.

“Oh my god!” Stiles says, a little too loudly. Quieter, he says, “It’s you they’ve been talking about on the news?”

“It is.”

“Holy shit,” Stiles says. “You’re seriously a firefighter by day, and vigilante by night.”

“I wouldn’t say vigilante…”

“What else would you call it?” Stiles asks. “You’re out their bringing criminals to justice.”

“I’m just bringing them to the police,” Derek says. “What happens to them after that is up to the cops. And besides…”

“What?”

“I think I’m going to be cutting back on my hours,” Derek says.

“Oh yeah?” Stiles smirks. “You found a better way to spend your nights?”

Derek brushes his nose across Stiles’ cheek before kissing him. “I think I have.”

Derek knows he still has a lot of work to do. It’s not going to be easy to completely shake his fear, but he’s working at it. With Stiles he feels calmer. The itch that’s always been lurking beneath his skin not as prominent when he’s around. 

The first night Stiles sleeps over, Derek actually sleeps the whole night. He wakes up rested and relaxed and he can’t help but think that this is how it’s supposed to be. This is what’s been missing. Now that he has it, he’s not about to let it go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day 💜  
> You can find me [here on tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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